Thursday, June 25th: Post #7 - The Sky is Falling

Chicken Little once said "the sky is falling"....

This former country boy says "let the hair join it!"

Yep, my progression towards the "hairless chihuahua" look has begun. Since I proactively shaved the melon to 1/8" long, it's not too obvious to those around me - yet. Once the bushy eyebrows completely fall out, then my genetic Irish/French Canadian Caucasianness will complement my hairlessness resulting in my transformation to the twin of this dude in "Powder". Have you seen the movie? It's from the mid 1990's and is possibly one of the worst pieces of film ever created by Hollywood, only to be rivaled by any sequel of a 1980's comedy (Look Who's Talking 6, Police Academy 12, etc.). Who is this famous actor? OH WAIT, he's not famous, because of his wise choice to participate in this film.

We were talking at the office in the "back 40" (cluster of cubes in the back) and someone asked how it felt to start losing your hair - it's kinda like a warm tingly feeling on the scalp - one of the folks accurately described the feeling as when you use "Selsun Blue" or one of the other powerful dandruff shampoos. Fortunately, this will only happen on the scalp. A body-wide tingly sensation would be pretty wierd, perhaps a bit creepy.

The good news is the hair loss means the chemo regimen is doing something by going after all the fast growing cells in the body - including the hair. It's nice to know that despite being 2 weeks past the first bags o' drugs, the residual effects are continuing. Chemo round #2 is next Thursday - believe it or not, I'M PUMPED FOR ROUND TWO. It sounds a bit wierd, and I have some anxiety that each successive round will kick my body's *ss harder and harder. Ironically, the absolute WORST thing, in my opinion, about Cancer and treatment is the waiting. Most of you know I'm an inpatient Type A personality, and this is a tremendous lesson from the Big Guy upstairs in cooling my jets, sitting back, and letting the process work itself out.

PROPS TO MY TEAM

On another note, many of you know we were pretty active in our Methodist congregation in Cincinnati (Hyde Park) and are still members there, and have (at best) attended services on Sundays here in Denver on an irregular basis. I'll use the "we ski a lot" excuse. Actually, that first sentence is 'code' that we've joined the "C & E Crowd" (Christmas & Easter). So, the diagnosis was a bit of a kick in the pants to get going again on Sundays, and we snuck back into Trinity Methodist Church in downtown Denver. For those of you here in town, it's the big mother of a sandstone church at 18th & Broadway across from the Brown Palace Hotel.

This is the part where I give them a big thank you for doing what the Methodist Church is known for - reaching out and helping those in need. On the first Sunday "back" when we went through the line o' handshaking after services, one of the ministers inquired about my crutches, and I told her about the cancer. Before you know it - BAM! This congregation has come out of the woodwork to help us, offering care & support to the both of us, and we're not members. Most of you know I'm not a big 'talk about faith' guy, but I really REALLY want to give Trinity a high five for offering support to the both of us - Thanks to the Rev's Dent, Slejko, and Marshall. So, we've moved up from the C&E Squad to the "Varsity". We haven't signed the local contract, but are at least dressing for Team Trinity on Sundays.

T-minus 7 days to Chemo Round #2. Bring it.

Carpe Diem.

-Bill

Saturday, June 18th: Post #6 - THE TEAMS AND THE TIMELINES

TEAM TALK

Once again, thank you everyone for your support and kind words. While this is a sh*tty disease to be inconvenienced with, it has been a blessing to hear from all of you - I've heard from people I haven't spoken to in twenty years - so keep it coming. As I amass my internal body forces and sheer will to defeat this sonofabitch, I've also heard a lot of folks sending me their prayers - so far, I've the got the following religious(or not) groups supporting Team Baker:

• The Methodists (my team)
• The Presbyterians (the in-laws' team)
• The Catholics (the original team)
• The Jews (the ORIGINAL original team)
• The Northern Baptists ( *&##!** yankees)
• The Southern Baptists (shhh- they think they're the only team)
• The Lutherans (Youbetcha, they're a team!)
• The Evangelicals (the holy rolling team)
• The Athiests (the thoughtful team)
• The Agnostics (maybe on a team, maybe not)
• The Mormons (the American western team)
• The Episcopalians (the golf clap team)
• The Disciples of Christ (Killer Horned Frogs team - Go TCU)

And that's all I know of - sorry if I left your persuation out, I'm on a low blood cell count this weekend, so I get to use the 'slow mind' excuse. Also, if you know me, you realize I'm not slandering your team - pick one and go for it - it's a great idea.

TIMELINE THROWDOWN

Enough of Team Talk, many of you have been saying 'WTF happened, and how did this thing go down?".

May 2008 - Team 'Ride Against the Machine' (check our facebook link on my profile) consisting of myself and two really great friends (Josh Vogel, Craig Clark) ride in the "24 hours of Erock" mountain bike race down in Larkspur, Colorado. Great time, great race, three mid-30's guys who were out of shape managed NOT to finish last against all these crazy mid-life Lance Armstrong types in Colorado (of which I soon will be one)

June 2008 - During my two (or three) time a week run through the neighborhood, I start to notice some hip pain, ever so slightly.

July 2008 - Pain continues, running slows, no big deal, right?

August 2008 - Project back in Ohio starts, so I begin to travel back/forth every 2-3 weeks from Denver to Columbus. On second trip, I get in a car accident at Port Columbus (my fault), lower back & hip pain increases steadily.

October 2008 - By now I can't run anymore, hip hurts a lot. Go to my doctor, get a cortizone shot in the hip, diagnosed as "bursitis"

November 2008 - Old back injury (mountain biking, college) starts acting up, constant travel to/from Ohio gets me some painkillers and a lot of ibuprofen. Vicodin is my friend. Start seeing Chiropractor. Some relief.

December 2008 - Second bursitis cortizone shot. By this time, I'm spending 2 hours a night on the floor because of 'back pain' - hip hurts, but main focus is back. Christmas is especially tough, I get to spend a lot of time on my in-laws family room floor. But, the carpet is really comfortable, so not so bad. Day by day - some good, some bad.

January 2009 - MRI lower lumbar spine, bottom of images stop an inch or two above my hip joint - SH*T. See Neurosurgeon in Denver, diagnosis as compressed disc, she wants to do spinal fusion - what a clown. Serious gimp action, right hip painful, I start to notice that when sitting 'Indian style' my right leg doesn't flatten as much as left.

February 2009 - At urging of my boss, Amy Burkett, I go to Steadman-Hawkins Clinic in Vail to see their back specialist - Dr. David Karli. Looks at MRI: no big deal, compressed disc - you're 36 and active, to be expected, let's give you a cortizone shot in the spine. 5 minutes into exam, notices my right hip has limited range of motion. Says to schedule appointment with Dr. Marc Philippon, the hip guy. Takes X-rays for Dr. P to review.

Early March 2009 - Cortizone shots in the back. Good sleepy drugs. BOOM, back pain gone, but now hip hurts ALL the time.

Late March 2009 - Get a call from Dr. P's assistant, I'm a candidate for surgery, think I have some calcium buildup in the hip ball joint and a torn labrum. Essentially, I'm gonna go under the knife for the same reason and by the same doctor who did Kurt Warner and A-Rod, only my value is WAY LOWER.

May 20, 2009 (they're busy, couldn't get in earlier).

• Morning PT prep & testing
• Final pre-op MRI
• Appointment with Dr. P late morning to review and get ready for surgery the next morning. 10:30 appointment, but we wait until 2:30 - "he has an urgent last minute meeting causing a delay."
• 2:30 - "We found something on the MRI, a tumor, and I think it's cancer"
• 2:31 - I pass out
• 2:32 - "It's bad news, but good bad news. I believe it is lymphoma, and curable"
• 2:32-3:30 - exam, meetings, and good talk with Dr. P. He even offers me a beer - he's French Canadian, so we've got a lot in common. He schedules an appointment for me with a colleague of his who is head of Orthopedic Oncology at Harvard & Massachusetts General Hospital.

May 21st, 2009

• Bone scans in Vail - shipped off to Mass Gen. Radiologist thinks possibility that it may be benign, but can't rule out cancer. Optimistic drive back down to Denver.

May 27th, 2009 - Fly to Boston, our dear friend Kristine Delano comes down from Portland, Maine to be with us should the news be the worst. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU KRISTINE - the Delanos are family, despite the fact we aren't blood related.

May 28th & 29th - Appointments at Mass Gen with Dr. Fran Hornicek, Dr. Evelyn Chen, and Dr. Edwin Choy, various cancer doctors, bone biopsy, Xrays, etc. etc. etc. Based on initial results, they confirm it is a Lymphoma of the bone - BUT NOT BONE CANCER. Continue hearing things like "well Bill, if you're gonna have cancer, this is the one you want to have."

May 30th & 31st - We go up to Portland with the Delanos - Chris, Kristine, Genevieve (our God daughter), Miranda, and Zach. Wonderful time just hanging on the lake and going to kids soccer games. The girls made really cool 'go away cancer' cards for me. I almost cried. Seriously, ME, almost cried.

June 1st - Back to Boston, more appointments, MRI, CT scan.

June 2nd - Fly back to Denver, at the layover at JFK, I get the call from Doctor Choy - the CT scan confirmed the cancer has spread to some lymph nodes in chest and abdomen. I almost pass out again, but he says "don't worry Bill, this is typical lymphoma behavior -let's get it cured."

June 4th - Back in Denver, meet with Dr. Ross Wilkins, Orthopedic Oncologist at Presbyterian/St Lukes Hospital. More poking and prodding, turns out tumor is both ON and IN my pelvis. Puts me on crutches, sets me up with my Oncologist(chemo doctor)

June 5th -Appointment with Dr. Ioana Hinshaw, at Rocky Mountain Cancer Center. It's lymphoma, and let's start chemo next week after a bone marrow biopsy.

June 8th - Bone marrow biopsy. Dr. H gets to shove a large needle in my ass and take a piece of bone and suck out some marrow. As I mentioned before, it hurt, but my bones are so hard that I bent the needle. SCORE ONE FOR TEAM BAKER.

June 11th - Chemo round one, Team Baker on the attack.

There it is. If you are able, call your Dad tomorrow and tell him you love him. That's what's important, not work, not money, not stuff.

Carpe Diem.

-Bill

Wednesday June 17th, Post #5

Just passed hump day of the first full work week back - as can be expected everyone on the 9th floor at Burkett has been awesome. A special thank you to Bob Eyster, our IT wizard who, without any prompting, donated platelets and plasma for me at the Cancer Center. Bob, you're a good man, but if your little buggers end up coming on board the Starship Baker I assure you they won't make me want to root for the Bears. I just can't get into the run-oriented offense, BUT, at least they can win a super bowl (WHO DEY BENGALS FANS). Here's hoping that I'll get some of your Poker skills also - I'm still smarting from my role as 'fill in' at your regular game last year.

I go in tomorrow for some blood tests in the afternoon, a relatively low-key event. I'm not really sure exactly what all they are testing, but it will be cell counts, cancer markers, etc. Once I have any idea of what the results are I'll keep all of you posted.

Many of you know that I've always said I want to live to be 100 - yep, June 14, 2072 is the big day where I'm sitting on a beach, sipping a delightful spirited beverage, smoking a cuban, and will quietly fall asleep for the ages at exactly sunset. God willing, my lovely bride Amanda is at my side, otherwise my new 21 year old wife would be in her place (JUST KIDDING). I still plan on getting there even after going through this little life 'bump' at 37, but the situation has caused me to think about just how blessed this boy from Sparta, Ohio has been, and I began to think about just a few of the events that have happened in my life:

• I pursued and married the love of my life Amanda, my soulmate.
• I was raised by wonderful parents who are an example in life and love to me.
• I have a great brother, who was an inspiring role model for me to achieve personal and professional success.
• I've been in the French Quarter of New Orleans watching the sunrise with the homeless along the Mississippi.
• I've attended a Cajun wedding in the French Quarter (Thanks Urb & Lisa)
• I've consumed Holy Water from a fountain on the side of a church in Rome.
• I've seen Rome, St. Peters, and all the wonder of the ancient world.
• I've been caught in a sports riot in Italy.
• I've ridden my bicycle with good friends across the beautiful backwoods of Ohio and the Midwest.
• I've won a race.
• I've climbed mountains.
• I skiied a black diamond slope by accident with Mike Schuster.
• I have childhood & college friends who are as close to me as brothers and sisters.
• I outran a state trooper and wasn't arrested.
• I grew up in a special small town, with people who taught by example the values of honesty, integrity, and the importance of your word.
• I won the spelling bee.
• I've been a member of a religious organization (the United Methodist Church) that has taught me the values of giving to others and serving the less fortunate, in lieu of self gratification and "profit" theology.
• I almost jumped the fence at the White House south lawn in 1993, only to be calmly talked down by Jeff from Wentworth Institute of Technology - thanks Jeff, wherever you are.
• I've been blessed with the opportunity to live where the ominous presence and beauty of the Rockies reminds me of my miniscule importance in the world.
• I rode a mechanical bull in Phoenix, and lasted the longest.
• I crashed a wedding reception in Dallas.
• I've roamed the streets of Florence with bottle of chianti, a song, and good friends.
• I went behind the Iron Curtain in Hungary just as it was being torn open.
• I've gone white water rafting in the east & western US.
• I rode slick rock trail at Moab - YEAH, SUCK IT FLATLANDERS.
• A debilitating 24 hour mountain bike race injury has saved my life.
• I've had the pleasure of walking around finished buildings & projects that were put together with a great team of Architects and Designers, and am humbled to have been given leadership opportunities at past and present firms.
• I lived in Cincinnati - one of America's great cities.
• I visited the Log Cabin in Plains Montana where my beloved grandfather, Bill Willis, was born.
• I took a pee at the headwaters of the Ohio River at the Point in Pittsburgh. Steelers suck, by the way.
• I've toured the fjords and cities of Norway, and experienced bad Scandinavian cuisine in Denmark, Norway, and Sweden.
• I rode a bike during rush hour in Copenhagen.
• My favorite car was my 1983 Two-tone teal Ford LTD - Remember that, all you friends from High School.
• My greatest professional honor has been to be trusted to lead the design team for the replacement of my High School, which is now under construction. I am truly excited for my hometown and can't wait to see how the new facility will give the next generation a leg up in their lives.
• I had a fantastic time at my alma mater, Ball State (a.k.a. testicle tech) and will always be a Fighting Cardinal.
• Josh Vogel and I dodged a tornado in Idaho while on a cross-country road trip.
• I've camped with friends who are my brothers by an alpine lake at a dormant volcano in the Pacific Northwest.
• I was moved by the sight and spirit of Little Big Horn. Seriously, give the Native Americans all the damn casinos & land they want, tax free - we screwed 'em. But they sure showed Custer!

Just wait for the next 63 years.

Carpe diem.

-Bill

Sunday June 14th - the official 37th Birthday Post #4

Greetings all, I wasn't going to post today but I just read a fantastic email from one of our old friends from Raleigh - Phil 'The Philmeister' Wong. We had the pleasure of a surprise visit by Phil and his lovely wife Heather about a month ago (seen with Amanda at our house) when they were in Colorado on vacation and were gracious to take the time to stop by for some buffalo steaks (OH YEAH MIDWEST, YOU GOTTA GET ON THAT) and great conversation. We first met Phil at Fairmont Methodist Church in Raleigh where, you won't believe this kids, we all sang in the choir together (I know you all can picture Amanda in this role, but call Guiness folks, I was blessed with some decent pipes, not Pavarotti, but good enough for some good inner city Methodists), and also enjoyed some cold brews and BBQ (NC Style-none of that Texas Red stuff) from time to time during our 5 years in Raleigh. As most of you know, Amanda and I left, but my brother remains a Tar Heel. It's always good to be in touch with Phil and our other friends when we get a chance - a few years go by, but it's just like we never left off.

Phil's a good man, a real peach, a trooper, and likes to dispense some of his "home cooked" southern wisdom - This night, I give you his latest: "A wise man once said the portal to true enlightenment is not through knowing but through the quest for enlightenment, and a cold brew and some pizza." circa 1950.

Agreed.

Phil and everyone at Fairmont Church - thanks for putting us on the prayer list, I know with the Power of Jimmy V & the NC State Wolfpack on our side (and some of those Dukies too Heather!) we'll get through this better than ever, albeit with maybe a little less hair. Phil - you and I might just have more in common after this is all over, anyhow!

Carpe diem.

-Bill