Saturday, July 18th: D-Day cometh - calling all Teams

As I give you this update from sunny, cool Denver on a Saturday morning we're in the process of preparing for a fairly significant milestone in my treatment process, PET scan #2. Here's the wiki article about what exactly this test is: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PET_scan I'll confess, I really didn't know what the heck I was doing sliding in and out of this big ring thing last time - the article is pretty informative, for a wikipedia article.

In the flurry of tests that occurred when I got back to Denver from Boston, they performed one of these to determine exactly where the cancer activity was in my body and to help confirm the B-cell non-hodgkins lymphoma diagnosis. The picture was pretty cool, a full size body view that resembled a fuzzy X-ray. But the moment I saw the image was a bit scary when Dr. Hinshaw said "anything that shows up as a black spot indicates cancer activity". I looked at the picture and there was a dark spot on my right hip (expected), some little spots in my chest and abdomen (lymph nodes - expected based on Mass General testing), but there was a massive spot in my head, two in my abdomen, and a big one right where my private parts are. I was in the process of feeling woozy (passing out, just like Vail) and pointing towards the big black brain spot when Dr. H said 'oh, don't worry, your brain, kidneys, and bladder show up as black regardless.' Whew - would have been nice to say that BEFORE the scan image was put in front of me, wouldn't you agree?

So Monday afternoon I go in for scan #2 - a huge milestone in my treatment to see how well the chemo is working. If last Tuesday's bone doctor appointment is any indicator I'm hoping the news is positive, but who knows - cancer is a strange disease that affects each person differently. After this scan I'll know more if my chemo treatments stay at 6 or increase to 8. From what I understand, this is the point where the radiation oncologist -the man/woman who will, frankly, nuke the living sh*t out of my pelvis & the tumor - will start to get involved and begin to develop the treatment plan. So, you can see it is a pivotal point in the treatment process.

I'm designating Monday as my own personal "D-Day" in my process, where we begin to know the plan for Team Baker's assault on the beaches of cancer. Like Ike & Churchill assessing Hitler's defense of the French Coast, we'll be looking at the defenses of this pansy *ss purple monster and planning the attack.

Thanks again to the many of you who continue to send me messages, cards, the "pink republican" hat (thanks Rick Tripp), Facebook notes, etc. Almost all of you continue to ask "what can we do to help?". So to answer this question, I'm calling all of my "teams" out to help this weekend. You saw my post a few weeks back about the various religious (and non) groups who were in my corner, and hopefully saw me add the Society of Friends and Wesleyans a week or so (thanks Jill Grubb and Dave Dewitt for getting your teams on the roster). I'm asking all of you to get to your clubhouse this weekend and send a message to the Big Guy on my behalf. Even if you're a 'part time' player and attend on Christmas/Easter/High Holy days I'm asking you for a special favor to attend for this weekend to help me (and Amanda) out. I've been a pretty lucky man, and frankly without some seemly random circumstances and intervention from the Big Guy, I might be blogging about a much worse situation. So, here's my politically insensitive instructions for the teams who are on my roster for Sunday:

• Oh yeah, for my Jewish friends and extended family on the ORIGINAL original team, sorry I didn't post in time for Shabbat eve or morning service. Send up some messages on my behalf over the weekend.

Anyways, here's my request of my roster of teams:

• For my team (Methodist), I'll see you there, sing a hymn on my behalf.
• For my in-laws team (Presbyterian), let him know I'm predestined to beat this.
• For the Catholic team, light a candle for me.
• For the Northern (or Southern) Baptists, hit the altar call and send up the request, but don't tell the Southerners that the Northerners are up there too.
• For Team Lutheran, send your message in German (or Swedish, or Danish) while you're having some wine.
• If you're on the Evangelical team, raise your hands when you send the message.
• For the Atheists, think of me and turn on some classical music.
• For the Agnostic Team, look at something cool in nature and send up a message to the Universe.
• For the Mormons...heck, I don't know what you guys do in the clubhouse. - do whatever.
• For the Episcopalians...sing a good hymn, and give a polite nod to someone on my behalf.
• For the Disciples of Christ Team, like the Mormons, I don't know what you guys do, but in the words of Nike..."just do it".
• For team Quaker, send him some good vibes in a non-violent way.
• For the Wesleyans, give him a direct message Rev. Dewitt.

For those of you who are currently 'free agents' - take some time on Sunday to stop into a new clubhouse, if only just for this week - it would mean a lot to us out here a mile high.

Carpe diem.

-Bill

Tuesday, July 14th: Post #11 - Shrinkage

shrink·age (shrĭng'kĭj) n.
The process of shrinking.
The amount or proportion by which something shrinks.
A reduction in value; depreciation.

When you hear the word "shrinkage" what comes to mind? For me and many of my fellow GenXers, one particular scene from Seinfeld popped in the mind: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cUNNKzj_Nc "I was in the pool! I was in the pool!"

Don't worry, I'm not going to inform any of you of the impact of chemotherapy & treatments on my unmentionables, and to be honest there hasn't been much to report. If there was, it would make this blog more inappropriate than it already is. ANYWAYS, after this morning the word shrinkage has new meaning to me.

Today I had an appointment with my Orthopedic Oncologist in Denver, Dr. Ross Wilkins. For those who don't know - he's the 'carpenter' who is there to keep my pelvis intact. He wanted to check on the status of my "honeycombed hip" (yeah yeah yeah) after the first two chemo treatments. For those who don't know, the tumor had burrowed into my right pelvis around the point of the 'socket' part of the hip, resulting in a 3" square (roughly) area of my pelvis that was 1/2 bone, 1/2 tumor. Fortunately, the tumor hadn't yet grown into the 'load bearing' area above the hip joint, so I had still been able to walk without shattering my pelvis, which was in hindsight a significant danger that could have made my situation even more dangerous than it is (was).

This 'honeycomb' action was the source of most of my pain since last summer. Those of you who are here in Denver know that I was dealing with debilitating hip pain to the point where I couldn't ski last season, which we thought was caused by my mountain bike injury. However, 99% of it was from the tumor burrowing into the pelvis bone. Two days after my first chemo treatment, most of this pain was gone - indicating that the drugs were attacking the fast-growing tumor cells.

My early June X-rays showed large areas of hollowed out (dark gray) bone where this tumor had honeycombed. The X-rays from this morning showed clear evidence of splotches of white throughout the area that previously was mostly dark gray. In the words of Dr. Wilkins "It's not getting bigger,and it looks like it's shrinking". We then spent 15 minutes going over the X-ray where he showed me the various areas of calcium deposits on the film.

What does this mean you ask? While I won't know more conclusive evidence until next Monday's PETscan (I'll explain later in the week), but all signs indicate I've probably got shrinkage of the cancer.

This man will take as much shrinkage as he can get, and I haven't even been in a pool!

Carpe diem.

-Bill

Wednesday, July 8th: Post #10 - The power of Geography

Remember "Hands Across America" O ye children of the 80's? I believe it to be an appropriate blast from the past given the recent celebrity expiration that you've been throttled over the head BY A CLUB by the media. For those Millenials out there who don't think anything ever happened before 1996 there was an idea hatched for the summer of 1986 that a bunch of people would stand in a line, hold hands, and POOF - all the hunger and poverty in America would disappear. A noble idea and cause, and aside for white flight from the cities & desegrated public schools, the collapse of the American Industrial base, and general disruption of the eco-system by suburbanization, I believe this was a dead-nuts idea to fix hunger, don't you agree?

But it really was interesting on many levels because people across the country got together to support one cause, despite the fact that the 'chain' couldn't cross the Western deserts due to lack of people. Because of my experience in running a fantasy football website (Midwest Collision League - Google it), I put a hidden electronic cookie on Cancer Can Suck It to track who is taking a gander at my ramblings. So far, in less than a month we're pushing 500 page visits, and folks from all across America are checking in. The following is a list of the communities where people have logged on and checked out the blog....

Apex, North Carolina

Attleboro, Massachusetts
Austin, Texas
Bellefonte, Pennsylvania
Blacklick, Ohio

Bombay, Maharashtra, India
Bronx, New York
Cardington, Ohio
Cary, North Carolina
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Chardon, Ohio
Cincinnati, Ohio
Clermont-ferrand, Auvergne, France
Cold Spring Harbor, New York
Columbus, Ohio
Commerce City, Colorado
Covington, Kentucky
Dayton, Ohio
Delphos, Ohio
Denver, Colorado
Du Bois, Pennsylvania
East Haven, Connecticut
Edmonton, Alberta
Evans, Colorado
Evansville, Indiana
Fairborn, Ohio
Fort Wayne, Indiana
Fredericktown, Ohio
Garner, North Carolina
Greensboro, North Carolina

Guatamala City, Guatamala
Hamilton, Ohio
Hilliard, Ohio
Indianapolis, Indiana
Jacksonville, Florida
Jiddah, Makkah, Saudi Arabia

Johnstown, Ohio
Kenthurst, New South Wales, Australia

Kinsman, Ohio
Lafayette, Colorado
Los Angeles, California
Louisville, Kentucky
Loveland, Ohio
Macomb, Michigan
Madison, Wisconsin
Mansfield, Ohio
Marengo, Ohio
Mason, Ohio
Merchantville, New Jersey
Michigan City, Indiana
Midland, Michigan
Milford, Ohio
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Mishawaka, Indiana
Mountain View, California
New Haven, Connecticut
New York, New York
Newark, Ohio
Newburgh, Indiana
Oakland, California
Orlando, Florida
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Patna, Bihar, India
Peoria, Illinois
Pleasanton, California
Plymouth, Indiana
Reynoldsburg, Ohio
Riverhead, New York
San Diego, California
San Jose, California
San Leandro, California
San Mateo, California

Santiago, Region Metropolitana, Chile
Shelby, Ohio
Shelbyville, Indiana
South Bend, Indiana
Stein, Bayern, Germany

Streamwood, Illinois
Sunbury, Ohio

Tehran, Esfahan, Iran

Tel Aviv, Israel
Versailles, Ohio
Vilnius,Vilniaus Apskritis, Lithuania

Washington, District Of Columbia
West Chester, Ohio
West Orange, New Jersey
West Sacramento, California
Westland, Michigan
Windham, Maine
Winnipeg, Manitoba

While this may seem mundane and boring, it's pretty motivating to me. In a somewhat-but-not-related way to HAA, people all across the country (and Canada, France, and India) are at least devoting some brain energy to my specific life challenge. Those of you who know me well know that I hate to fail at anything I put my mind to, especially with public accountability. With all of you checking out my progress it makes me want to fight harder to beat this. The REALLY cool part of this is that many of these towns are associated with specific friends and family, and every time you log in it's as if you're giving me a personal greeting. So THANK YOU everyone..keep checking it out. My hope is that this blog can update you on my progress, but also that someone who is also processing a recent Cancer diagnosis can gain some hope and inspiration.

OK, enough for touchy-feely. There is a tie-back into Hands Across America, albeit a bit weak by literary terms. You see, my Aunt Judy, Uncle Mike, and cousins Mike & Matt lived on Lake Erie in northern Ohio, 1 block from the route of the 'line' of people who formed the HAA chain. It JUST SO HAPPENS, that on Memorial Day weekend 1986 we were driving to visit them, and were getting ready to turn left across traffic onto their street at the exact moment that the HAA chain was being formed for the big Michael Jackson moment. Their street was right off of Route 6 in Huron, Ohio - the path of HAA. There was some 'discussion' on what to do in the front seat of the car between my Dad and Mom....those of you who know the Baker dynamic can only imagine the content of that conversation - Mom was compassionate, Dad dropped a few choice words and hit the gas..

So, here is the true Baker family confession for the ages - at the exact "MJ" unity moment of Hands Across America, the Baker clan broke the chain and ruined the opportunity to end Hunger in the world.

Another tidbit about this story. My cousin Mike, 5 years my junior, was diagnosed at age 19 with the same cancer I have. His was much more advanced, and he beat it. Mike is now 32 and cancer free. Mikey, you're a Warrior, and an inspiration.

Carpe Diem.

-Bill

P.S. I have an update of teams who are in my corner. Add the following to my earlier blog entry:

• The Society of Friends (Team Quaker, not the cereal, the ones from PA)
• Wesleyans (the Closet Methodists who are afraid to be called Methodists team)

If I've forgotten your team, please let me know. Seriously, I'm keeping track.

Monday, July 6th - Post #9 - My Favorite Italian Hoosier, bar none.

Many of you who knew me during my years at good ole' Testicle Tech (David Letterman's alma mater) knew that I tended to be a social fella, and enjoyed the fruits of being dropped into the midst of 20,000 strangers in a state I had only visited once previously in my life. Like many adventures before and after, I have always enjoyed the 'starting anew' and building a new life from nothingness, or possibly this is a bit of my Mother's Western Montana rooted restlessness that made its way through the DNA mixture.

So, as can be imagined, I had a good time - a REALLY good time at Ball State, and will always love my experiences I had, the friends I made, the illegal (but unspoken) activities that involved mountain climbing on unfinished large structures, turning over porta-potties, and the occasional (illeged) runs through the steam tunnels - all of which, you can guess, were fueled by earlier evening festivities at one RKE house on Ball Avenue (thanks Ries, Niel, Ski, and East). I embraced the love of my newly found vocation (Architecture), kissed a few girls, "borrowed' a university car for several weeks, ran a series of illegal social events under 'official' University jurisdiction, and generally had a heck of a good time.

But, the most important moment in my time at BSU happened one late night in studio during my 4th year, as I was working on some forgotten project where my desk was propped in front of the doors to the hallway. In the class ahead of us (a great group of folks), there was this great larger-than-life italian guy from South Bend, Tony Gianesi, and while we weren't close friends, we partied and hung out from time to time. Tony was boistrious, funny, and didn't take sh*t from anyone - not to be stereotypical, but a good Italian boy.

So the rumor buzz as of late around the College of Architecture & Planning (some 400 strong amongst 20k crazy Cardinals) was that I was dating the elusive Amanda Dawn Fritz, and that the word on the street was that she was being a bit elusive and frustrating for her pursuer (that's me). Tony walked up to my studio desk and asked how things were going with Amanda, and I remember saying "You know Tony, I'm going to Europe soon, graduating next year, and frankly I'm not in the mood for head games. I think I'm just gonna end this thing and move on to the future." To quote Tony "Bill, you two make a great couple, and I think it would be a mistake for you to stop chasing her. In the words of Jimmy Valvano, the coach of NC State 'DON'T GIVE UP, DON'T EVER GIVE UP."

Well folks, those of you who know what happened from that point on know that I didn't give up, and married the love of my life, Amanda Dawn Baker (Ha-she dropped the Fritz!). Tony wasn't able to make our wedding the following summer, but we did have a toast in his name to "never give up" all 250 strong of us in the basement of the Old Mill Restaurant in Evansville. As all of you here in Denver can see, Amanda has been my rock during this face-down with the big C, and I couldn't be here without her love and support.

So why the story about Tony Gianesi? We really haven't been in contact over these past 14 years except through the college -classmate grapevine. But I was touched last week to get a facebook friend invite from Tony, and accepted. He soon after sent me the following inbox message which I'd like to share with all of you:

"Bill-

The only thing that comes to mind after looking at your pictures is something I believe I said to you some 15 years ago. My memory may be blurred and my mind is certainly going with three daughters but I believe I quoted a rather famous basketball coach and said, "Don't give up, don't ever give up."Though that quote was not meant for your current struggle, 15 years later it appears to hold true more than ever.

My wife and I wish you only the best having faced our own struggles with cancer with our parents and her aunt. Please stay in touch and keep me in mind as you fight on as we will you and Amanda.

Tony and Kerry Gianesi"

Thanks Tony, and a MILLION THANK YOUS to all of you who send me kind words, notes, phone calls, cards, prayers, emails, and a simple 'how you feeling today' at the office. I am blessed beyond recognition.

2 1/2 weeks to Round #3. Team Baker on the attack.

Carpe Diem.

-Bill