Tuesday, August 11th: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T YOU BE AN ASSCLOWN!

$82,947.90

....spelled out it is "Eighty Two Thousand, Nine Hundred Forty Seven dollars and Ninety cents."

That my friends, is the summary of my "Explanation of Benefits" from Rocky Mountain Health Plans which summarizes the cost of Cancer from May 20th through July 14th. This was the first Fifty Five days of my treatment.

For those of you who are fellow public school graduates and have some trouble with math, the average cost PER DAY for my diagnosis and treatment through mid-July equaled $1,508.14.

And to think, this only covered the first two rounds of Chemotherapy. To put it in perspective, ONE of the five drugs in the "RCHOP" chemotherapy regimen costs $11,000 for an IV bag. Yes, that's eleven grand for one bag full of clear fluid that you could hold in both hands. The day after chemo I get a shot in the back of my arm of a drug called Neulasta which causes my body to produce white blood cells so I don't die from a cold between treatments - wanna guess the cost of that needle? Anyone? Seven thousand eight hundred dollars.

And I haven't even started to guestimate the cost of radiation treatments.

In a nutshell, by the time I get my expected "It's gone for now" talk from my Oncologist around Thanksgiving, this little peckerwood called Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma will cost my insurance company somewhere between $200,000 and $300,000 (USA). And according to the doctors here in Denver and back in Boston, I "got the cancer you want to get." If an "easy" cancer costs the same as a house to treat - what would the costs be if I had Sarcoma, or Leukemia, or had to get a bone marrow transplant? Up to a million bucks. That's $1,000,000 CASH. For us, the good news is that our 'out of pocket' expenses for treatment plus the travel costs to/from Massachusetts General will be around $5,000. I think that's a pretty sweet deal, don't you?

Imagine if I didn't have health insurance - we'd be screwed with the choice of 'live in crushing debt', or 'die.' Now you can see how thankful I am to be employed and to have this health plan. If I became unemployed and lost insurance or Cobra - there is a strong chance I wouldn't be able to get covered, and then couldn't get treatment. Then I'd be dead and you wouldn't have this cool blog to read anymore.

Why am I writing this? Because I'm sure many of you reading this blog may not have health insurance for various reasons (too expensive, unemployed, etc). You may say "I'm not going to get sick" or "I'm too healthy or young to get a life threatening illness". When you think of this, think of your in-shape, excercising, and young friend out here in Denver. I did all the right things, exercised, ate well, limited my substance abuse but for the occasional beer, whiskey, and/or celebratory cigar, and guess what - Cancer found me.

It could find you, too. Or it could be another disease, or an even worse kind of cancer.

So my wisdom for the week is: "DON'T BE AN ASSCLOWN, GET HEALTH INSURANCE".

If you think you can't afford it, stop eating out, don't go to Starbucks, sell a car and drive a beater, stop getting cable or internet, move to a cheaper town or neighborhood - do ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING possible to get the insurance because you'll never know when you need it.

Health insurance is more important than your house, your stuff, your job - in fact it is the most important thing you can provide (besides food and basic shelter) for your clan. Don't take this email as a bitch session about the cost of healthcare - it isn't. They have AMAZING drugs and therapyfor this disease which fifty years ago would have been my death. It is worth every penny. Doctors deserve every cent they get - I don't care if they live in big houses, drive fancy cars, or get to jet around the world. THEY ARE WORTH IT.

So what do I think about this big health care debate in Congress where everyone is getting lathered up about each proposal? Frankly, I'm VERY skeptical of anything Congress proposes, regardless of whether it is by the Democrats, Independents, or even the irresponsible dumbasses of my Party, the Republicans. Take one trip to the DMV in your community(see pic), or be an Architect trying to get a project through Planning/Zoning Departments, and you'll see the incompetence of Government. Frankly, I don't want these people figuring out what's best for my health condition or treatment regimen - they have enough difficulty issuing us plastic cards with our picture on them. Imagine if they would determine how much (or little) treatment you get for a disease based upon their judgement....

But one thing I do know, it's a crime for people to be denied available treatment because they are in a circumstance where they cannot pay - whether it is due to unforeseen circumstances or their irresponsible behavior. We are too rich and successful as a people for this to happen. As a human being I can't stomach this- it's wrong to be knowingly deny coverage to someone who could be helped. Can you believe this, a Libertarianesque-Republican saying this? It must be all those Methodist pies and sermons finally rubbing off on me. So, something has to be done, and everyone - whether rich or poor - is going to have to pay for it. America voted for a 'change' of direction - let's see just how much "change" we as a country are willing to pay for.

Don't forget our Mr. Rogers' lesson of the day: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE don't you be an assclown!"

Carpe diem.

-Bill

Wednesday, August 5th: Man-o-man, do I miss beer

It's been a relatively quiet week here on the Western front - the usual non-mountain weekend due to the damn crutches, some bad Cable TV, and the occasional walk/hop to the end of the street to look at the mountains. On the cancer update: I had my blood counts taken on Monday and the nurse was really positive about the results, not only am I on the high end (good) for a dude going through chemo, but the counts are as high as non-chemo people. So what does that mean? It means I've bounced back from Round #3 and am waiting to give the Cancer b*tch another slap when Round #4 starts next Thursday.

Now, for my personal ramblings about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness....

We were fortunate to have a friend from Cincy, Dave Schuster as a 'part time' houseguest over the past week during his post-college graduation quest to visit local microbreweries here in the Front Range. He's a home brewer, and eventually hopes to get into the beer brewing business back in the 'Natty (that's Cincinnati for those of you who don't understand) since he's graduated from UC. Best of luck to him, he'll do well.

His visit has me all lathered up with my cravings for a nice tall cold one (or two). As an individual who is primarily made up of Irish/French Canadian/Native American DNA (with a bit of England/Wales thrown in the mix) it's my genetic duty to drink beer. If you think about these three ethnic groups and their 'history' with grain-based beverages, it's a wonder I've never been to an AA meeting. In keeping with these genetic predispositions of the Baker (changed from Boulanger because racists in early 20th century Massachusetts wouldn't hire French Canadians) clan, I'll confess I do like beer.

My oncologist at Rocky Mountain Cancer Center, Dr. Hinshaw, is Romanian & really nice, but very stern in an Eastern European kind of way. If any of you traveled over to Eastern Europe in the first 5 years after the collapse of Communism, you know what I mean. When we first started the chemo regimen, she was VERY CLEAR that no alcohol or drugs (sorry all you Medicinal Mary Jane pushers) should be in my system during the entire 6 rounds. This fact, coupled with my new found (thanks Mom and Amanda) organic diet has led me away from the beverage I was born to love. So I've done my duty as a good order-taking WASP soldier in the fight against Cancer. Let me tell you, not having the occasional cold one has really sucked.

My love of beer isn't in an alcoholic "I'm shaking until I get my fix" way, it's more an appreciation of the tangy refreshing, hoppy taste that is SOOOO good on a hot dry summer day - which is most of them up here in Denver. Dave's visit reminded me that we live in one of the greatest brewing cities in the world and MY OH MY do I miss having a nice, cold Fat Tire courtesy of the artisans at New Belgium Brewing Company up in Fort Collins, CO.

Fat Tire is one of my favorite beers, and while I enjoy it I have to be in the right mood. The rest of the time (85%) my favorite is none other than the Champagne of Beers, Miller High Life. Quit snickering you yuppie sons-of-b*tches, the High Life is where it's at. You won't admit it in public, but on every camping trip with your buddies or nights out with the girlfriends in the Midwest you've had the High Life and you've loved it.

You see, the High Life is a fine beer for those of us who were formed north of the Mason Dixon Line, west of Shittsburgh, and east of the Mighty Mississipi. It has great graphics, a not-too-filling taste, a cool bottle, and most importantly is a lot less expensive than just about every other beer except for Pudweiser, Natty Light, and the Beast. Besides, if you're a true M-Westerner you don't need to flout your bank with a nice expensive beer, 'cause you're a cheapskate at heart and would rather have the 'best crappy beer' on a regular basis than squeeze a few extra bucks out of the wallet.

Since it looks like my chemo treatments are stretching through the end of September I won't be able to have a real beer (O'Douls doesn't count- don't ask) until October or November depending on what the Radiation doctor says. But you can bet that when I'm done - I'm heading up to the High Life for some tangy refreshment. O'Douls? to quote the High Life Man "I DON'T THINK SO!"

The High Life has the best beer commercials on TV. Who doesn't love this guy and his anti-elitist beverage attitude? Now if only we could get him as our spokesperson for the fight against cancer?


Stay strong, hug your loved ones, go to your clubhouse for me, and have a nice tall High Life for this weekend.

Carpe diem.
-Bill

Wednesday, July 29th: Top Ten things about being given the sh*t sandwich of Cancer

As a former student of the "Harvard of the Midwest" (Ball State University), and in the spirit of our most famous alum, David Letterman, I figure it's about time I give you a "top ten list" about this disease.

"THE TOP TEN THINGS ABOUT BEING GIVEN THE SH*T SANDWICH OF CANCER."

#10 - Miralax

Sure, there's all sorts of side effects that are supposed to happen because of the chemotherapy drugs (a.k.a. poison). Mouth sores, vomiting, constipation, dizzyness, numbness, etc. I've been pretty lucky to have minimal effects on my body considering they are pumping somewhere between $15-$25k worth of poison into me every 3 weeks. YES, IT IS THAT EXPENSIVE. But let me tell you, without the brilliance of the people at Schering-Plough HealthCare Products, Inc you ALL would be hearing screams wafting in on the jet stream from out here in Denver. Sometimes it's like trying to crap a pile of sandpaper. You get the drift.

#9 - Chemo brain

Per above, there is an incredible amount of pharmaceutical genius being pumped into my body right now, not only the THOUSANDS for chemo, but the dozens of pill bottles strewn throughout the house and neatly labeled by my lovely wife so I don't get stoned on the wrong drug at the wrong time. Unlike my time at the RKE house at Ball State (those of you who know, know), this is the first time in my adult life where I really am all whacked in the brain. But since I'm a little puffy cheeked and am bald, I can use the 'chemo brain' excuse for whenever my body has decided to catch up for the brain cell burnout circa 1990-1995 in Muncie. Chemo brain - try it cancer friends.

#8 - The Economy doesn't matter

All of us in the Architecture, Construction, & Design profession are seeing the worst economic conditions since the Great Depression. You know it, I know it, and the empty desks scattered throughout our respective work environments show it. Frankly, I'm incredibly appreciative of my employer for having a job and health insurance (note the THOUSANDS listed above). But really, in the grand scheme of things - the economy doesn't matter. Turn off the cable news, MSNBC, and stop reading the magazines - it'll work itself out. I'm fortunate enough to drive into work looking at the beauty of the Rockies (when the smog isn't out), it puts it in perspective. Until the Great Depression, the United States had a financial crash & panic every 10-15 years - look it up. As it says in Ecclesiastes "There is nothing new under the sun"

#7 - No inhibitions

There's nothing more humbling than sitting in a room at the Yawkey Outpatient Center of Massachusetts General Hospital with more Harvard Faculty MD's than you can shake a stick at looking at you and saying "Cancer" and "Mr. Baker" in the same sentence. Seriously, after that conversation you can do whatever the hell you want, when you want. Nothing is more serious than that. I love having the freedom now to say my piece - what are you gonna do, give me cancer?

#6 - Friendship & Family

I have been truly blessed through this experience for my friends and family - which are now becoming one and the same. The phone calls from far and wide, the errand running, the hugs for Amanda, the hand on the shoulder, the facebook notes, the text messages, the cards, the snacks, the wraps & smoothies - everything. Even my best childhood friend Craig sending me the Family Guy "Peanut Butter Jelly Time" youtube video (seriously, great stuff) - it all is precious. This has been one of the best experiences of my life. I wouldn't trade this for anything.

#5 - The Funeral Contingency

I did it. I mapped out my funeral. Where it was going to happen, who speaks & the order, what scripture texts are read, the hymns, what minister, and even the list of my pallbearers. It may sound morbid, but was an ongoing effort for several nights which was incredibly rewarding. I thought about past funerals I'd attended, and the feelings & emotions associated with each person. This was a great chance to 'send a message' about the life I've lived, and the emotions I wanted to people to feel when they walked out of that church. It's a great self-retrospective experience, and I don't regret doing it, even though I'm not going to need that roadmap for another 63 years or so.

#4 - Music

The thought of your mortality heightens the senses. While many of you know I'm passionate about all types of music - ever since my diagnosis I've appreciated even more the intricacy and beauty of musical notes and compositions. From choral concerts to jamming on the radio - I can't describe how much richer all music has become to me since May 20, 2009.

#3 - The Morning

The fresh smell and glow of the sunrise means even more, because I've had a taste of reality that it won't last forever for me. There is nothing better than the light breeze and earthy smell of the prairie on a cool, sunny morning in Denver. Since we live on the east side, that's all I've got. If we were up in the foothills I could espouse about the wonder of the ponderosa pines. Sorry, in Stapleton we've only got construction dust, tumbleweed, and Prairie Dogs.

#2 - Beauty

A carved sandstone detail at the entry of our church in Denver, a branch of a ponderosa pine in Evergreen, the shadows of the snowmelt at Mount Evans in the morning, the design of Denver Central Park, a genuine smile of joy on a person - it rocks. Beauty is beauty, and I'm appreciating it even more now. OK perverts, the 'no strip club' rule still holds true - NOT that kind of beauty.

#1 - Love

Amanda. Thanks Tony G - I can't imagine if I hadn't listened to you and ended it with my (now) wife some 14+ years ago. You are one wise sonofabitch.

By the way, my father in law says I now look like Paul Shaffer of Letterman - how appropriate.

Carpe diem.

-Bill

Thursday, July 23th: Oh yes, cancer is my Bitch

"This is the best possible PETscan result you could have."

Exact quote from Julie, the physician's assistant at Rocky Mountain Cancer Center at Pres/St Lukes Hospital in Denver.

Oh how sweet a morning Thursday, July 23, 2009 was - it's one of those new 'anniversary' days to add to my calendar, like many cancer patients do. For me, Wednesday May 20th will always be the day that Dr. Philippon told me I had cancer and, after I awoke from a passing out episode, offered me a beer. I love French Canadians, and I love having a good portion of their DNA in my veins. July 23rd is now the day that I found out the chemo is working, and the signs of malignancy have severely diminished since my last scan on June 4th. The following is a step by step breakdown of what has happened in each of my cancer locations, according to the doctor 'techno speak'. But first, I'll give you some definitions of a few confusing words thanks to the Google:

• Hypermetabolism is the physiological state of increased rate of metabolic activity.
• The acetabulum is a concave surface of the pelvis. The head of the femur meets with the pelvis at the acetabulum, forming the hip joint.
• Lymphadenopathy is a term meaning "disease of the lymph nodes." It is, however, almost synonymously used with "swollen/enlarged lymph nodes". It could be due to infection, auto-immune disease, or malignancy.

LYMPH CANCER/TUMOR IN HIP - "ReScans through the pelvis demonstrate a marked decrease in the hypermetabolic activity seen associated with a destructive lesion involving the inferior aspect of the right iliac bone, the right acetabulum, and the superior and inferior pubic rami on the right. There is now only mildly elevated metabolic activity along the medial aspect of the right acetabulum with peak SUV values ranging up to 3.2 compared to peak SUV values of up to 20.4 on the previous study. The residual metabolic activity may be related to bone reparative changes although low-volume residual malignancy cannot be excluded. The associated slight increase in soft tissue fullness medial to the right acetabulum has resolved. There are no hypermetabolic bone lesions on the current study."

WHEW, now take a break, have a beverage, and dive into the following results:

LYMPH CANCER IN NECK - "No residual adenopathy is seen in the left side of neck and left supraclavicular region where hypermetabolic adenopathy was previously seen."

LYMPH CANCER IN CHEST - "In the upper mediastinum metabolic activity is now normal. There is a residual mass in the anterior mediastinum measuring 24 x 31mm witih no associated elevation of metabolic activity. On the previous study the mass measured 50 x 28 mm with intense hypermetabolic activity and peak SUV values of 10.7. The residual soft tissue mass could represent scarring from treated malignancy."

LYMPH CANCER IN ABDOMEN - "In the upper abdomen, the hypermetabolic activity previously seen in the right adrenal gland has resolved. Hypermetabolic adenopathy seen in the periaortic region at the abdomen has been resolved."

LYMPH CANCER IN KIDNEYS - "There has been a resolution of the hypermetabolic activity previously seen in both kidneys and a decrease in the size of the kidneys. This suggests that the hypermetabolic activity was most likely related to infiltration with lymphoma."

ANYWHERE ELSE IN THERE? - "The liver and spleen are normal in appearance." HA- those years at Ball State in Muncie at the RKE house didn't do too much liver damage, eh?

So there you have it, the Cancer bitch's time is numbered on board of this Bakermobile. Everyone at the RMCC was really positive about these results, which indicate that the only area of potentially 'active' malignancy may be some resilient cells in the hip honeycombed bone & tumor area. That was to be expected, and if the next three rounds of chemo don't get it, then the radiation of my private locations (a.k.a. the 'inner pelvis) with the Three-Mile Island "Special" super-machine will. The down side is that I still have to go through the final 3 rounds - today's round wasn't too bad. My chemo nurse Emily (Go Huskers) has changed my chemical dosage around so they give me this powerful 'downer' called aderol which helps mitigate my reactions to the bag of Benadryl they put in my blood stream. It's kindof like the 'supersize' of valium - woo hoo! By the way, I'm not a Nebraska fan, but they are all so damn nice (seriously, look at Josh Vogel's facebook pictures about our trip to the Ball State - Nebraska game) that I have to give them props whenever I run into them in life.

So there it is, good news for now, but I must continue to be diligent as we go into these final rounds to snuff out this sonofabitch forever. My cousin Mike did it, my Mom did it, so the third round of the Baker Trifecta is on it's way to victory.

Carpe diem.

-Bill

P.S. - Thanks again from all of my teams, from the ORIGINAL original Jewish Team to the Society of Friends to the Professional Bartenders ...you represented in the clubhouse this weekend and as they say in the old Bartles & Jaymes commercials...."Thank you for your support."